Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Last night, DH and I had a terrible fight.

Maybe this is typical of other families? I was complaining about something, he wasn't interested, and refused to look at me whilst he played on the computer (Maybe other husbands channel surf, read the papers, whatever whatever?). I was talking about something which really bothered me and I was hurt when he did that. I started crying, he started shutting me out even more.

Why is it like that? When did it all change? He used to be able to talk to me for hours and hours... Lunch dates dragged to dinner, to supper because we had so much to talk about and so much to share. He used to be so sensitive to my feelings, so protective when others hurt me. I thought I chose the right person.

Now he is nonchalant, hurtful and disinterested. He doesn't care if I am hurt, or if I cry.

On the other hand, I am so much more affected by his actions than I was pre-marriage. The things I do, the things I buy, are all for his comfort (or Baby's). His breakfast cereal, his socks, the ice cream he likes. It seems like my priorities have shifted entirely to put him and the family first, and in return, he now treats me with less respect.

Why does marriage change a man?


Mia said...

don't be sad. i feel you. my ex behaved exactly the same way too, if that is of any comfort. have some happy food, tomorrow is another brand new day.

Zen said...

Thanks Mia for being so sweet. You're right, I have a happy food theory too. Some people have retail therapy, but food therapy works best for me!

Camemberu said...

Hi, chanced upon your blog today and love it. Sad to hear about your little fight though. Yeah, hubbies can take things for granted sometimes, especially when you've been together so long. Hope you guys got to talk it out when you both have time for each other.

If it's any consolation, as a computer gamer myself, I know firsthand that it's really hard to look away from the screen when you're in the thick of action when one slight bit of inattention or delay can kill your character. This is especially if you're in a group while gaming online (extra responsibility!).

Still, it's no excuse for neglecting your significant other. My hubby too has felt quite abandoned a few times but I try to make it up to him. I hope yours does too.

Cheer up! I'm sure he still cares very much for you, just that he shows it differently now.